Doljabi: A Korean Tradition for Babies

There are two English words that should never be used together in a phrase, “infant” and “mortality.” But the reality is that it pops up every now and then to the dismay of many. I found this stark and disturbing data searching for something entirely different, but I thought I should share it.

Among OECD (The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development) member nations, or “(semi-) developed countries,” the United States has the highest infant & maternal mortality rate despite the fact that it spends the most on healthcare by a wide margin. My ethnic background of course is Korea but I’m an American citizen, and this makes me sick to my stomach.

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Let’s get back to the topic at hand. Needless to say, the infant mortality rate a few hundred years ago must have been a lot higher than it is now. There’s no data that kept track of it, but records from 1920 in Korea indicate that about 10% of all babies born at the time died within the first year. Another case in point. King Youngjo of Joseon (r. 1724~1776) had 14 children in total, with 5 of them dying before they reach the age of 4, and another dying at 18. And that’s with the care of the best doctors at the time. I would hate to even imagine what things were like for the common folk when their children/infants fell ill.

So, it is only natural that parents would rejoice when their babies make it past year one, the most vulnerable year. I know that’s a terrible thing to say but such must’ve been the norm back then. This is why Korean parents have historically regarded the 1st birthday the most important and celebration-worthy, not the 16th, 18th, nor the 21st. They would invite relatives, friends, and other guests and throw a big party (jahn-chi 잔치). And the custom is that the invited guests (usually the closest relatives and friends) would buy gold rings for the baby—for those delicate, chubby little fingers.

Korean babies were hiphop and blingbling long before the American rap stars

There is a multi-layered meaning behind the gold rings. It’s for the baby’s education costs when he/she grows up and more importantly, as an emergency asset for the rainy days that their parents might face while rearing the child. (My mom saved and still has the 6 gold rings that I received when I turned 1. There were definitely rainy days but she said she couldn’t bring herself to sell them.)

The 1st birthday is so special in Korean culture that it even has a dedicated name for it. It’s called 돌, dol. The word is used only for the 1st birthday and not for any other. And during the 돌잔치 (party), it is highlighted by this one particular event called 돌잡이, doljabi. Dol being the first birthday, and 잡이 (jabi) being the noun form of “to grab.”

I tell ya, before the doljabi part of the party, the baby is put through a lot on that day—the frequent change of wardrobe, being bombarded with strangers trying to get attention, everyone yelling “look here” and “smile” and etc. 2 of my 3 girls got sick from the exhaustion and stress after the party.

Anyhoo, after the meal is served and the endless picture-taking is over, the center table is cleared and something that looks like the following is laid out in front of the baby.

The babies’ eyes invariably light up when this is presented, and they will naturally grab one of these items and hold it up. And that item the baby chooses **supposedly** determines what kind of life the baby will have, all in good fun of course. Let’s go over some of these things here and what they mean. (I’ll generally go from left to right.)

• the writing brush and book: if the baby grabs this, he/she will do well in school and become a scholar.

• the ma-pae (마패, round medal with horses): During the Joseon period, the carrier of this medal (always hidden) meant that he was a King’s secret agent with authority to strike down on the corrupt local officials and hand out summary judgments on them. the implication here is that if the baby chooses this, he/she will become a high-ranking government official.

• the gavel: pretty obvious, right?

• the white skein of yarn: long and healthy life (apparently this is the item that most parents in the old days wished the baby would grab, not so much these days)

• the five-colored papers (white not shown): multi-talented, a well-rounded person

• the coins (in the middle): millionaire/billionaire

• the wallet (복주머니, “good fortunes pocket”, old traditional Korean garb hanbok doesn’t have pockets): someone with good fortunes in general

The above picture is a fairly standard set of the doljabi items. There are a few popular items missing, such as bow and arrow (military leader), grains of rice (good fortunes), and raw noodles (long and healthy life).

My 1st and 3rd child chose the same things—the pencils and pens (couldn’t find the brush in LA) that I had set on the doljabi table. 1st daughter graduated salutatorian at her high school and is doing well at one of the top universities as an engineering student. 3rd daughter is set to graduate valedictorian at the same high school and wants to go into mathematics (we’ll find out where she gets accepted in the next few months).

And this is the actual picture of my 2nd daughter with doljabi on her real birthday in 2005. The dol party was a few days before at a Korean restaurant with a banquet room. And she grabbed the exact same thing on both days!!

one of my absolute favorite pics, a face of pure unadulterated joy

this almost looks staged. I swear to you it’s not.

She also was an excellent student in high school but her non-academic interests always came first. Like, spending too much time in dance classes and starting her own slime business when she was 14. She grossed about $10,000 in about a year before she shut it down. We’ll see how her doljabi choice turns out (like I said, all in good fun).

As times change, the items parents put on the table change also. More like evolve, I guess. The new items that never would have been on the doljabi tables 50 years ago (i.e. when I was a baby) include,

• stethoscope: obvious implications

• microphone: K-pop star, actor/actress

• baseball, soccer ball, plastic golf clubs: professional athlete

• toothbrush: dentist

• mouse & keyboard: software engineer

• passport: diplomat

• joystick: professional e-sports gamer